I enter the restaurant, the server takes me to a table and offers me the menus. I refuse. I say that I know what I want and give my order:
“To drink I would like Between 1.5 and 2 cups of sugar, 1 packet of yeast, half a gallon of grape juice”
I pause briefly while the order is entered into the iPad. Then I place my food order:
“2kg Maris Piper potatoes, 1 garlic bulb, 100ml rapeseed or sunflower oil (the chef can choose), 8-10 fresh bay leaves, ½ tsp lemon, 1 tbsp olive oil, 3 tbsp caramelised onion chutney, 4 parsnips, 4 carrots, 200g sprouts, 2 small red onions, 12 cocktail sausages, bacon, 2 bay leaves, 4 rosemary sprigs, 2 red onions, 4 large eggs, 140g plain flour, 200ml milk, ½ small bunch of sage, sunflower oil, 1 small red cabbage, 2 red onions, 1 dried red chilli, 2 juniper berries, 2 allspice berries, 200ml red wine vinegar, 75g demerara sugar, 100g walnut, 1 small pack dill, 3 Granny Smith apples, 140g crustless sliced white bread, 85g butter, 1 onion, 1 bay leaf, 1 thyme sprig, 600ml milk, pinch of ground cloves, pinch of ground nutmeg, 100ml double cream, 60g light soft brown sugar, 250g pack fresh cranberries, 100ml sloe gin, 4 juniper berries, neck and giblets from your turkey, 4 chicken wings, 2 onions, 1 carrot, 2 celery sticks, 1 garlic bulb, 1 tbsp sunflower oil, 1 tbsp clear honey, 2 tbsp soy sauce, 1 tbsp tomato purée, 50g plain flour, small handful dried mushrooms, 1 tbsp red wine vinegar or Sherry vinegar, 150ml port, Sherry or red wine, 1.2l chicken stock, 3 bay leaves, small bunch thyme, 4½ -6kg/10-13lb turkey, 2 leeks, 2 carrots, 50g butter, 300ml dry cider, 2 onions, 25g butter, 1 small Bramley apple, 2 x 400g packs meaty Cumberland sausages, a handful sage and 140g granary breadcrumbs”
The server asks me if there will be others joining me for the meal. I reply indignantly that there will not and how dare he question my order, I will take my business elsewhere if I am questioned again.
The server thanks me for my order and as he leaves I say:
“And once I have that you will have the pleasure of my company for 90 minutes and I will grudgingly pay the bill, if you are very lucky I will give you a measly tip.”
My drink arrives, I gulp it down and leave the restaurant without a word, without paying and without my food.
Does your organisation treat prospective employees and suppliers like this?
The order is for red wine and roast turkey with all the trimmings, it would feed a few people! And the picture is of something else!